Stand By Your Choices, And I’ll Stand By Mine

Posted: August 3, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Sam, If you ever read this, don’t be mad. I am just blowing of steam and venting. I need to get it out, and I am afraid that if I tell you now, that you will be pushed away even farther.

I gave you a second chance. A second chance to redeem yourself from what you did the first time. I believed that you were just jealous of what we had, and after removing you from my life for almost two months, I thought you had learned your lesson. How could my best friend, whom I have known for 7 years, go behind my back and kiss my girlfriend, and send that text to him saying things like that? I was pissed beyond one can imagine. When I saw that text, to Joe, I wanted to beat the shit out of you. I waited to talk to Sam when she got out of class, and when she did, she told me that wasn’t what happened. If we weren’t at school, I probably would have initiated a fight. I left you in the dark, with not so much as  second thought. but after a few months our close friend convinced me to talk to you. I brought you back, because I thought you had learned. I thought that my best friend would have seen that this was his second chance. Even months before we broke up, I could tell that you still liked her, but sometimes I just told myself I was being to jealous. But after what you have done to me again, you have shown me your true colors. After you told me that you care more about her than our friendship, that has shown me the kind of person you are. You are nothing, nothing but scum who hides your true face behind a perfect mask. But I now see right through it. I wish I could just tell this to her, and make her see the kind of person you are. Some part of her has to see that what you did was wrong. Some part has to see that. You jumped right in, pretending to care more about her than I did, even saying that I didn’t care, but you will never know her like I have. You haven’t been there for years, you are just a rebound. A sad rebound who jumps on the one chance with a girl. A true friend wouldn’t have done this. Even in our last messages you said that If the roles were swapped, that I would be a better man than you, and I am. I am loyal to those I care about, and you are no longer in that circle of trust. I will never make the same mistake again. So goodbye.

We got into a fight, and she went over there and I went to christians to cool off. I didn’t know that she went there  and when she finally picked me up, I asked her if she got christmas shopping done, and she said yeah, and that  she went to her spot by the river where she sits whenever she is sad. The next day I saw the text from will to Joe, saying she came over crying and such, and that they fucked…and he said he didnt feel guilty, we were at sharis when I saw it…and I didnt say anything but I showed her the text right there, and just looked at her, and she went to the bathroom and then I couldn’t eat, so I just sat there, and then waited we all went to our classes, and when mine got out and I went and waited by her class until she got out then when she did, I said we need to talk and she said ok, and we drove off campus to some neighborhood and I just said everything, and told her to explain and she started to cry a little and told me that didn’t happen but he did kiss her. So I went to philosophy and she went to her next class. I had class with him, but I sat on the other side of the room, and took the final, thanked my teacher for term, and walked out, and sam and I left him up in OC. I was so pissed that when I got back to her place i packed everything I had and we drove to my dads, and sat there and talked until we came back to her apartment, with my stuff. That was the one night that I didn’t kiss her goodnight, and faced the other direction and let her cry. I know it sounds harsh, but I was pissed beyond imagine. At one point during the night I did turn over and hold her though… she told me that’s not what happened and that they just sat outside and talked and that he kissed her. In the next few days he messaged me saying how sorry he was and such and I literally said “fuck off, lose my number”
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